( Me at my Place 1/3/2014 )
There is a bucket load of advice here cleverly composed by a very experienced battle worn parent and/or grand parent!!
Mike Howe.
GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS,
GRANDCHILDREN!)
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces, nephews, or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are
out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's
omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven
and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
'DON'T! '
'Don't what ?' Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden
fruit.' God said.
'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden
fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
' No Way ! ' 'Yes way! '
'Do
NOT eat the fruit! ' said God.
'Why? '
'Because I am your Father and I said so! ' God replied, wondering
why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few
minutes later, God saw His children
having an apple break and He was ticked
!
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked.
'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
'Then why did you? '
said the Father.
'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it! '
Adam said.
'Did not! '
'Did too! '
'DID
NOT! '
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was
that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
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Thus the pattern was
set and it has never changed.
If
you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think
it would be a piece of cake for you
?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two
years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next
sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's
reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know
why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In
fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We
childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
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ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids..
They
will choose your nursing home one day!
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU
HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN
BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
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